Loosening The Knot

Saturday night, I did some laid-back, fun, old-school good time drinking with a friend I've known almost 20 years. The current crappy state of our sad economy and a well-crafted lie from another employee desperate to save their own skin had left him briefly jobless -a scary prospect in today's slim job market- but he is pretty sure he's found what could prove to be very gainful employment and so, was sharing his joy with me, via the consumption of good beer and my old friend (and also old nemesis) Mr. Jack Daniels. As we sat there and drank and talked of many things, I think something in me, some great knot I carry around all to often and don't always realize it, began to loosen and unravel a bit. We joked and laughed at current things. We enjoyed the sights of many beautiful young ladies who were moving to and fro, enjoying the teeming nightlife around us. We strolled a bit down our almost two-decades-long memory lane of youthful misdeeds and adult realizations. And when we were done, we settled within my house to chill out the remainder of our evening. He passed out happily while enjoying a movie via the awesome miracle of Netflix, and I got a call about then from a certain young lady with whom I have been cultivating a romantic relationship from afar. Thank you, Mr. Graham-Bell for your lovely invention, which allows us to bridge the states-wide gap between us in and instant and enjoy the pleasure of one-another's company vocally, if not in person.
I must say here, that I am normally a very guarded person. I can express emotions very clearly and much more easily in writing. But, when inter-acting with people I tend to be one to erect walls, play my cards close to my chest as they say, and choose my words very carefully. Alcohol, however, can suddenly become a huge wrecking ball that smashes right through those carefully crafted constructs, redering them inert and tossing inhibitions to the wind.
So...when this call came, that is when the wrecking ball hit and the knot loosened a little. And with that loosening came a loosening of my tongue, as they say and many things I'd kept happily locked away, and things I had been thinking on and analyzing (Probably over-analyzing, knowing me), came pouring fourth.
To my great and joyful surprise, she was quite receptive of all of this and excepting. She was basically just like "OK, this is how it is and I know when you're sober much of this will again get locked away, and that's OK. You'll come to it when you're ready." This made me feel great, and no doubt was a big part of the reason I felt so good Sunday. I don't have "I Feel Awesome!" type days very often, so my thanks to her. She knows who she is. She is among my small readership of the ramblings on this blog, so perhaps she will read this, and within it catch another small glimpse of what she glimpsed that evening...